Silence of the Lambs

[Gruff masculine voice with exaggerated enthusiasm.]

VOICE: It's the Silence of the Lambs ACTION PLAYSET!!

[Assorted wows from various kids holding out their dolls.]

VOICE: Jame Gumb has been killing women...

[Kid #1 moves Gumb doll in basement of Dungeon of Horrors playset. He snaps a knife into Gumb's hand, and peels back the Gortex (tm) double-sided rubber skin from the Kimberly doll.]

KID #1: ...And now he's got the Senator's daughter!

[Kid #1 lowers Catherine doll down cardboard oubliette with plastic winch.]

KID #2: But Clarice Starling is coming to the rescue!

[Dramatically poses the Starling doll, gun in hand.]

KID #1: I'll just use my... INFRARED GOGGLES!

[Puts goggles on Gumb doll and looks through hole in back of its head. Camera cut to show view through blue-tinted lens that simulates background goggle appearance.]

KID #3: Meanwhile, Hannibal Lecter's escaped!

[Peels Goretex (tm) face off of Pembry doll and reverses it to show raw, bloody side with dangling eyeball. He puts it on the face of the Lecter doll, which he lays on the floor of the portable cell playset as other kids manipulate SWAT and medic dolls.]

ALL (gathering around): DR. LECTER LIKES HIS FUN!

[Closeup as Kid #3 presses button on back of Lecter doll. Red lights flash in Lecter's eyes, accompanied by a humming noise.]

KID #3: I'll be back, Dr. Chilton!

[Kids bunch together, holding out their dolls in wide-angle shot which displays all the products. The Gumb doll has a Gortex (tm) flap folded back to show the Whistling Chest Wound (tm), controlled by a pump in the doll's back. The Starling doll's coat is flung aside to display the speed loader. She carries a forensic kit and a brown envelope with interesting photographs. The Lecter doll is dressed in full restraints, complete with tiny hockey mask and hand-truck. The kids make various noises of delight.]

VOICE (rapidly): The Silence of the Lambs Action Playset. Some assembly required. Figures sold separately. Batteries not included. From TEITO!

[Display logo; fade to black.]